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Better Communication Can Help
Avoid Marital Separation

By Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.

Are you considering marital counseling to try to get back your wife or husband before your marriage crashes?

If so, you’re not alone. In many troubled marriages, the downward slide to marital separation and divorce can be traced to communication problems in the relationship.

Can you relate to this?

When communication issues are a challenge for couples, it's not unusual for the mates to stay in perpetual frustration in an unhappy marriage. It’s common for such unhappy spouses to feel unappreciated and misunderstood by their partner.

How to Stop Marital Separation in This Situation

When unexpressed feelings pile up and begin to poison the relationship, it may be time to consider going to a marriage counselor. You may be wondering how a marriage guidance expert can improve your relationship.

A little-known fact is that a good marital therapist can help you understand that when you repress your anger, it will usually emerge later, often after something trivial has upset you or your mate.

Is it challenging for you and your spouse to have a normal conversation without one of you leaving the room before a conflict is settled? The emotionally-charged buttons that your mate presses in you may make you want to get away in order to avoid your uncomfortable emotions and reactions.

If you want to communicate better with your spouse, you’ll find that you must be fully attentive and present in the moment to have the best chance of success. It means that you have to commit to truly hear and listen. And you have to hear not just with your ears but you must listen also with your heart.

Your goal is to get rid of any communication obstacles or blocks that stop you and your spouse from growing and maturing in intimacy and understanding.

How Do Communcation Blocks Lead to Marital Separation?

So what are communication blocks and how can they lead to marriage separation?

Communication blocks are the things that you do, through your words and actions, that prevent you from connecting at a deep level with someone else. Several examples of things you may be doing that block communication in your marriage are:

* You roll your eyes and look exasperated or resigned when your husband or wife talks;

* You sigh loudly and deeply when your mate is sharing an opinion;

* You look at a clock or at your watch repeatedly;

* You don’t stop whatever you're doing when your partner wants to have serious conversation with you;

* You don’t make eye contact and give your spouse your complete attention;

* You use the time while your spouse is speaking to think about things unrelated to what your partner is saying;

Marital Separation Is Not Necessarily Inevitable

If you can you relate to any of any of these symptoms in your marriage, don’t despair. You’ve just taken the first positive step forward by recognizing what you need to change to improve your marriage.

And the truth is, even if you are in the middle of a marriage crisis, you may still stop divorce and get back your wife or husband by taking the right actions.

And you will discover that this realization is priceless! Armed with this new knowledge and the help you’ll receive from marriage counseling, you can now take steps to avoid the marital problems that lead so many couples to a broken marriage.

When you think about it, a simple realization like that can change your life, can ’t it?

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Copyright © Nancy Wasson.  All rights reserved.  Nancy Wasson is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get help with your marriage problems.

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